Archive for January, 2010

Goal Setting, Part 2

Monday, January 25th, 2010

 Try This At Home……………..

Next time your child fails at achieving her goal, have her make a list of everything that she did well and a list of all the things that did not go well.  Then have her analyze the second list and come up with ways to fix or improve upon them.   Once those things are fixed, have her try again.

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We’ve all failed to accomplish a goal at one time or another.  It’s normal to feel lousy when it happens, but the more productive response would be to figure out why it happened.  Cavett Robert said, “Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, is for you and you alone to decide.”  You can let your failures control and define you, or you can learn from them and use them to your advantage.  The choice is yours.

Fear of failure was the thing that I struggled most with during my cycling career.  I was so afraid of not being perfect that I would agonize over the possibility of failure.  Like everything in life, the thing that you dwell on is what comes to be, and left unchecked my fear became a self fulfilling prophesy.  Fear of failure is a separate post all to itself, but I mention it because in learning to deal with my fear, I learned an important lesson about failure…….While failure is unpleasant, it doesn’t make you a failure and it isn’t the end of the world.  It’s simply a step toward becoming successful.  You won’t find a successful person out there who hasn’t failed a few times in the process. 
                                                           
We all want to protect our kids and hate to see them fail, but as I’ve said over and over again in my blog posts, your child will learn far more from failing than they will from success.  Sure, failure isn’t any fun, but it can teach a valuable lesson. 

                                                                                    Reasons Why We Fail

We Went About It Wrong

Most likely the reason your child failed is because she went about it the wrong way.  This is the most valuable lesson in failing.  If she can realize where she went wrong and fix it, then the next time she’ll be successful. Help her analyze the situation and figure how she can improve.  

Lack of Motivation/ Follow Through

If your child seems unmotivated to do what is necessary to accomplish her goal, then it might be time for her to access if the goal is still important to her.  Sometimes priorities change.  My husband quit his wrestling career in the middle of a tournament.  In the middle of a match, he decided it just wasn’t fun anymore.

The other option may be that she just doesn’t want to put in the work.  She wants the reward that comes with accomplishing her goal, but she isn’t willing to do what it takes to get there.  In the end if she fails at her goal because of her work ethic then she’ll learn an important life lesson.  Letting her learn this lesson the hard way, while she is young, is the best gift you can give her.

Lack of focus

Your child may fail to accomplish her goals, because she isn’t focused enough at the task at hand.  She needs to choose which goal is most important and give that the most attention.  She may not know how to focus.  Focusing is a learned thing and is something that is crucial to success in all aspects of life.  Check out my previous prioritization blog for tips on teaching your child to prioritize and stay tuned in a few weeks for my post on the art of focusing. 

Unrealistic Expectations

Your child’s goals may be unrealistic.  If she fails to meet her goal it’s a great opportunity for her to be completely honest about why it happened.  She may have inadvertently set herself up for failure by setting an unrealistic goal.  Help her learn to set realistic goals.  This doesn’t mean that she can’t dream big, it just means she has to be realistic about things like her timetable, talents, abilities, etc.  Some goals take a long time to reach, and some people are better suited at achieving some goals than others.  

If she has failed to reach her goal the first thing she should look at is her timetable.  Maybe her goal would be more achievable if she gave herself more time.  She may also need to add in some additional sub-goals.  Maybe her plan is missing a few steps.

The harder thing for her to do will be to access her abilities. She may find her talents lend themselves better to a new and different goal. She may find she has more to lose by continuing her pursuit than she does by throwing in the towel.  The choice is never an easy one, but this too is an important lesson to learn. 

Part of learning to set goals, is learning what to do when it doesn’t work out.  It is an important skill set for your child to develop.  Learning from their failure will make them successful.

For more information on myself or my children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com  My book, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race, is an excellent way to talk about overcoming fears with your child.

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Setting Goals

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Try This At Home……………………..

Using the steps below, have your child set a goal that he can accomplish in the next month or two.  (or less)

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Did you set a new years resolution this year?  Did your kids?

This post may have been more appropriate as the first one of the New Year, but hopefully it’s still relevant because you are sticking to your resolution.  If you didn’t make a resolution, or you’ve already given up on your resolution, don’t lose heart, this is the perfect time to get back on track. 

A New Years resolution is just a fancy way to say you’re setting a goal for yourself.  Occasionally you’ll hear someone say they aren’t a goal oriented person, or they don’t really know how to set goals, but most likely these people are setting goals everyday.  Every time they make a to-do list, a honey do list, or leave the house expecting to arrive at a destination at a particular time, they’ve set a goal.  They just may not realize it. 

Your kids do the same thing.  They may not know the word goal, but they set goals for themselves all the time.  They may want to ride a bike like their big brother, own a certain toy or score a goal in their next soccer game.  When my son Micah was about a year and a half old, he wanted to jump so badly.  He would bend his knees, crouch way down and throw himself upward, but his cute, little, flat feet never left the ground.   Finally, with enough practice, he got some air.  I tell you this, because if a one year old can set a goal and find a way to accomplish it, anyone can.

It’s never too early to teach your child about setting goals.  Having goals will help him to be successful, give him a purpose, help him learn to manage his time and resources, and give him a sense of accomplishment. 

I’ve found that often people are good at setting goals; they just have no idea what to do after that.  Here are some basic things you can teach your child about achieving his goals.

Make a Goal

If your child doesn’t already have a goal, have him come up with one.  Like I said, he probably already has a goal; he just may not have defined it as such.  Have him write his goal down.  Explain the importance sharing his goal with another person, because they can help with accountability and problem solving.

Break It Down

Next, ask him how he thinks he can go about reaching his goal.  Let him come up with some ideas.  Some goals are simple, like I need to get a load of laundry done today. The only thing you have to decide in order to accomplish that, is when specifically you’re going to do it.  Other goals are more complex, like making an Olympic Team.  Goals like that are so lofty, that they need to be broken down into mini sub-goals.    The sub-goals work like stair steps. Each time you accomplish a sub-goal you move one step closer to the big one. I think most people fall short of their goals, because they fail at this step. 

Here is an example.

  1. Set a goal.
  •  Running a mile in ten minutes.

     2. Break it up into mini-goals. 

  • Buy running shoes
  • Find a place to run and measure off a mile using the car odometer. (Find land marks at the quarter mile markers as well.)
  • Run a quarter mile
  • Run a half mile
  • Run three quarters of a mile
  • Run 1 mile
  • Time yourself while you run 1 mile.
  • Run a mile is less than twelve minutes.
  • Run a mile is less than eleven minutes.
  • Run a mile in less than ten minutes.

Set A Deadline

On a calendar, have him write his final goal on a specific date and highlight it.  That is his deadline.  Then, have him work backward and figure out when each sub goal needs to be accomplished in order to accomplish his final goal by the deadline.  Have him identify the deadline for each sub goal on the calendar as well.

Developing a Plan

Now that he has a goal, and sub goals, he will need to decide what needs to happen in order to accomplish his first sub goal.  Maybe he needs to put some other activities on hold so he has more time to devote to his goal.  He may need to do some research, get more sleep, or set a specific time each day he will practice.  Have him write his plan down.

What You Can Do

Be interested.  Ask him how his plan is going and help him trouble shoot.

Celebrate

Don’t forget to celebrate the milestones.  It is easy to be so focused on the final goal that the accomplishment of each mini goal is over looked. Make sure to give him a hug, tell him he’s doing a great job and how impressed you are with his persistence and discipline.  There doesn’t have to be a reward for each mini goal.  The sense of accomplishment should be reward enough, especially if the end goal is one he really wants to reach.

Stay tuned next week for part two of goal setting.  For more information on myself or my children’s books, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race and Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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Warming Up

Monday, January 11th, 2010

I apologize again for not having a post for you last week. Thanks for checking back.

 Try This At Home…………………..

Take a frozen French toast stick and snap it in half. Tell your child that when she hasn’t warmed up before exercise, her muscles are cold, inflexible and less capable of working hard. Explain that exercising without warming up first, can cause injuries to muscles and tendons. Next, heat up a French toast stick in the microwave and show her that afterward it is supple and bends easily. Explain that just like the French toast stick, her muscles aren’t ready until they are warmed up. After a warm up, her muscles are lose, warm and ready to work hard. Note that a warm and bendy French toast stick doesn’t break, just like her muscles are less likely to be injured when they are warm.

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Warming up is key to an optimum performance. If I jumped into a race or intense workout without warming up, my body revolted. I was miserable; I felt stiff, sluggish, extra sore and unresponsive. Plus, I was putting myself at a much higher risk of an injury. If you skip a workout you run the risk of being unprepared for an opportunity early on in your competition.

Everyone’s ideal warm up is a little different, but the concept is the same. A warm up is an easy exercise, like walking, jogging or jumping jacks, which increases blood flow to your muscles and slowly elevates your heart rate.

I personally found that I needed less of a warm up than some of my teammates. If I warmed up too much, then I was tired for my race. When I first moved to the Olympic Training Center they helped me develop a warm up program. I had always warmed up, but with their guidance I started using heart rate, and eventually wattage output, as a guide. Fundamentally there wasn’t anything wrong with the warm up I had been doing, it actually wasn’t much different from my new and improved one, but my new one was more specific and routine.

 At first, the warm up they prescribed was too much for me. The first time I tried it in its entirety was at my first World Cup in Italy. I followed my warm up as prescribed and I got to the start line feeling shaky. I still had a great ride, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I left some of it in warm up. Maybe it would have been an even better ride. My husband Chris helped me tone it down to a warm up that worked best for me. He pointed out that before my workouts; my warm up was much more concise. Generally my first effort of each workout was my best, so obviously a shorter warm up was enough.

Below is the warm up I did before races. I would ride easy for ten to fifteen minutes, depending on how I was feeling. Then I would ramp up from about 50-60% of my max heart rate to 70%. I’d hold it there for about three to five minutes and then I would increase it to 75-80% for another three or four minutes. Lastly, I ramp it up to about 90% for about thirty seconds to a minute. After that I would back off and ride easy for another five minutes or so until my heart rate had come back down. I’d get off the bike and stretch for a few minutes. Then I’d put my race gear on my bike and depending on my event that day, I’d do either several ten second sprints or one and a half kilometers at race pace. The first sprint usually felt pretty lousy but the second one was always much better. Afterward I would stay warm by riding easy for several minutes, off and on, until it was time to race. I liked to end my warm up about ten to fifteen minutes before my race. That allowed me time to get race gear on, use the bathroom, etc. More time wasn’t a bad thing as long as I could keep myself warm by riding easy.

 Here are some additional things to consider.

 In cold weather it is much harder to get warmed up and to stay warm.

In very hot weather you may have to warm up less and need to make sure you stay hydrated.

You need to be somewhat flexible. Murphy ’s Law says that if something can go wrong it will, so you have to expect that at least occasionally something is going to happen to throw a wrench in your plans. Your goal should be to get the perfect warm up before a competition, but prepare yourself to have to improvise.

 Help your child develop good warm up habits at a young age. Set a good example, and help her develop a routine that works for her.

For more information about myself or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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One more week delay

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

I apologize for the inconvenience, but due to a family illness the new blog has to be postponed for one more week.  I will have a new post up on January 11th. 

Thanks for stopping by the sight.

Erin

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